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Chill... or better yet, take your attitude the fuck away from me
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Confidence is just pretending you know what you're doing.
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Dinner options
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Don't like how I roll? That's a you problem.
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God told me to love everyone, my pastor told me to vote differently.
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I don’t commute, but my motivation does. It left and never came back.
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If fun is against your personal policy, I kindly suggest you move the fuck along
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If Life Gives You Lemons, Add Vodka.
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Life gives you lemons? Make a terrible decision and blame it on fate.
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Life isn’t fair. So fucking deal with it.
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Look at you, pretending to be productive
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Meetings where minutes are kept & hours are lost
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My vibe today? Unavailable.
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Nothing says humble servant like a private jet and a mega-church
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Office coffee? Try kitchen coffee. Stronger, cheaper, still tastes like regret.
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Overthinking ruins the fun. Just hit 'Add to Cart' already.
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